One of the most disorienting experiences for me inside the church was when I started to sense that ways that I was feeling God’s closeness and direction were different than most people I was around, in church.

The typical American church emphasizes language and ideas that create a perception that there are insiders and outsiders. Good guys and bad guys. And terms like “unity” and staying “aligned” to the leadership or the vision and style of the church are often heavily emphasized.

So what does it mean when that’s the water you’re swimming in, and you start to realize maybe you’re not as aligned as you thought you were? Or maybe you used to feel aligned, but lately God has been speaking to you differently?

You can start to have questions like… Why is everyone else so moved by this and I’m not? Is it me? Is there something wrong we me that I can’t get excited about this, too?

What if you’re not the problem? (At least not this time 🙂 What if the model is the problem?

American Church isn’t Structured for Diversity

The way most American Church is structured, there is one monolithic model of doing church every week. We come back every 7 days to run basically the same play, every week. The songs might vary. The sermon title and branding may change. But by and large, we do the same thing week in and week out.

For people who connect and thrive in that type of model, that works great. But what about those who don’t?

• What if you don’t feel close to God through music?
• What if you fall asleep during the 45 minute sermon?
• What if you can’t focus on the people talking on the stage, because you want to get outside the church walls and DO something for the Kingdom of God instead of just talking about it all the time?

Diversity of the Body = Diversity of Connection with God

If 1 Corinthians 12 is true and we are one body with many different parts – we don’t just have different appearances, functions, and purposes. In using our diverse range of spiritual gifts, personalities, and ways of thinking, feeling, and engaging… we’re going to feel closest to God in different ways. And we’re going to experience the deepest purpose and effectiveness with Him in different ways based on the ways HE has designed us.

So….

• If you’re wired to feel closest to God by serving others in tangible ways, you may struggle to sit through another hour long service that’s based on music and lecture, when the body isn’t going outside the walls to DO anything about it. That’s not a problem, that’s conviction and a God-given purpose.
• If you’re wired to experience God through sacrament and ritual, your modern non-denomination church may not be hitting that need for you
• If you’re wired to experience God through silence, the loud music and hundreds or thousands of people in the room may feel like a distraction from God, not a moment with Him

Diversity is a part of God’s design

If you look at the New Testament Church, God built diversity into His plan for His Church.

• 1 Corinthians 12 talks about the Church being like a body with many different parts
• Philippians 4:11-13 describes different gifting God has given His Church – Apostles, Prophets, Evangelists, Shepherds, Teachers

God didn’t design us all to have the same personality, same gifting, same purpose. He designed us to be different from each other, so that we can all bring a gift for the building up of His body – the Church. We are supposed to challenge and sharpen each other. Not conform to one singular way of being.

If God designed us differently on purpose, why does the American Church only seem to highlight and have space for certain types of gifts?

That’s a post for another day… but definitely one we need to circle back to!

Are there ways to connect with God besides Sermons and Songs?

Yes! I want to share an assessment that has helped me in my journey, and has helped many other people I’ve recommended it to.

It can be freeing to understand that there are more ways to connect with God than just sermons and songs inside a church building. And if you can identify ways that you connect most deeply with God, you can be intentional with that – creating space for you to deepen your connection with Him. Maybe even break free from some negative beliefs about why you have felt underwhelmed about experiences inside the church walls.

• Awareness — Discover which spiritual rhythms actually resonate with you.
• Practice — Prioritize spiritual habits that feel meaningful, not just prescribed.
• Community — Understand why you connect differently than others in your church or group.
• Growth — Use your dominant pathways to shape prayer, study, and reflection.

At its heart, the Spiritual Pathways assessment is a tool designed to help you gain insight into the ways you most naturally connect with God — outside of expectations, Sunday routines, or performance-oriented faith practices.

The Spiritual Pathways assessment comes from a framework that recognizes we aren’t all wired the same spiritually. God doesn’t create people in cookie-cutter fashion; each of us has unique ways that draw us toward Him most authentically.

The tool helps you discover which of these pathways feel most genuine for you. Most people gravitate toward one or two primary pathways that resonate most deeply.

Why This Matters — Especially If You’ve Been Hurt by Church

What the Spiritual Pathways assessment helps you do is decenter the default model and ask a gentler, more honest question:
“How do I actually connect with God?”

The assessment is free and anonymous – you don’t have to pay any money or sign up to get spammed

Check it out. Let us know what you find out!